Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My fevered imagination

So, I've been accused of having an overactive imagination. It's true and I freely admit that. The night before last I had the most incredibly weird, kick-ass dream I've had in quite some time. It was in full color and seemed just like real life.

I was me, but not-me, as often happens in dreams. Well, not-me was riding a motorcycle (btw, I have never been on a bike) and gets hit by a bus or a train or something. Long story short, I die and wind up in "Heaven". Only I don't quite go in. I'm sitting there, outside the pearly gates on a cloud, and who should walk up? God. Only God is Coyote. So, not being the type to accept death lying down, so to speak, I start arguing with him. There I am, sitting on a cloud, arguing with a talking dog about how I should not be dead yet, damnit. Finally I succeed in convincing him to send me back. He does warn me, saying 'I won't like it' and that I'll have to 'take what's available'. I'm a little suspicious, because this is Coyote were talking about, but I tell him where to put his warning. Besides, presumably my body is available, right?

Next thing I know, I wake up. I'm laying on my back in the middle of the woods next to a large rock outcropping. As I pick myself up, I realize that I must have fallen off of it. But I am completely unhurt. When I'm standing up I notice that the world is a lot farther away than usual. Then I look at my arms and they are much larger than usual. A quick inspection reveals that holy crap, batman! I'm a man. I yell 'Coyote!' as loud as I can and hear an evil chuckle far away.

The next thing I notice is that I'm in the middle of a jungle, not a forest. Soon enough, some friends come looking for me. They were worried about me, but I'm okay. I have a different name of course. I go back with them to the village, where apparently I am a blacksmith. A bit of time passes and I have a lot of trouble adjusting to being a man, living on what is obviously a different planet and mideval to boot, and a blacksmith.

Then things really get bad. Green lizards show up and try to take over everything and enslave everyone. Guess what? In my new body I'm the great-great-great grandson of some great hero or other, so guess who gets picked to save the day? I then spent the rest of the dream running around with a glowing sword, a thief, and a talking dolphin (hey it was a dream) fighting evil green lizards. I woke up when I damn near fell off the bed while swinging the sword.

What does this have to do with anything? Nothing, of course, but it was one of those things I felt the need to share. Btw, I'm copyrighting this. There has to be a story in there somewhere. ;-)


Blogger SoapBoxTech said...

hilarious. not as hilarious as if your sword swinging had made you fall all the way out of bed, but hilarious nonetheless.

interesting lizard cameo tho, been watching David Icke videos?

10/29/2008 10:58 PM  

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